A Message to Him
by Master Kasukabe
Summary: Aomine never expected it to end like this. He wanted them to grow old together. Could he have done something to prevent it, or was it just fate being mean? First person (Aomine). Aokuro


"I can't wait for you to get home. See you in a bit."  
Little did I know that he wouldn't respond because of something urgent. Something _life changing_, you could say. I guess I'll tell you the story of how I lost my love.

It was a cool fall day, and he had been at work for about 6 hours. He called me when he was about to leave, had said he loved me and would be home soon. How ironic. I had texted him 15 minutes later and said to hurry home. About 45 minutes later, his mother called me and told me to come to the hospital. I remember the feeling of dread and denial, how horrific it had been. I had never been so scared in my life.

When I arrived at the hospital, he was already almost gone. I saw his bandaged face, and broke down in tears. His mother was in no better condition. When his heart did stop, the doctors tried to bring him back, but there had been too much damage. I kissed his forehead, and his mother offered to take me home. She said she didn't want me driving after what had happened.

The next day I missed school. And the day after, and the day after. I ended up missing until his funeral, a week and a half after the accident. At least he looked peaceful. I remember that his father showed up. His father had never shown up to anything after Kuroko came out. I punched him.

1 month later

I went to visit his grave again. I brought lily of the valley, too. His favorite flower. I also got stared at, being a rather tall teenager on his knees screaming and crying for something. Anything. I really wish he were still around.

I remember emailing him. It said : "I'm a little drunk, and I thought you should know. I love you more than a cannonball loves water and like how pirate shits love tidal waves. Oops. I meant pirate ships. You would have liked that. We would have laughed at that. Holy fuck, please come back."

I saw his sister at his grave one day. She looked like God had fallen from her fingertips. I wondered if she dreamed about him like I did and do. Even though we were both trying our best to forget. Not to forget. To move on.

I quit basketball. Nothing was fun anymore. Satsuki said I should stop, but we both knew how impossible that was. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but I didn't, and still don't, know when this is going to stop hurting. I hope it will end soon.

I wrote him a story and emailed it to him. but not after sending another message. This time it was : "Hey, so I wrote you a story. So that happened. If you want to read it I guess I can send it to you, but in the end you make it home, so I guess you wouldn't like it after all." After he made it home, in the story, we lived happily ever after. We both continued basketball and finished high school. Then he went to school to become a kindergarten teacher, and I a police officer. He had always loved kids.

After a while I stopped talking to people. Why should I talk to them, if they aren't the one I want to talk to. Why should I bother with other people when those people could never replace him. I continued to email him, waiting for a reply, somehow. I actually believed that he could see them, and in a way, I feel he can.

When it came to his birthday, I stayed at his grave for the next two days. I had packed food and a gift. I even had brought a sleeping bag. Satsuki came and got me eventually, but she had to drag me away from him. Even she had moved on, and told me that this was ridiculous. She told me that he was dead, and wouldn't come back. Even if I tried harder than I had already been trying. As if that was possible.

His mother found the book that had all his passwords in it. She saw the emails. She told me that it wasn't healthy, that I needed to stop. I said that he read them, and that since I loved him he still loved me. She gave me a strange and steady look, then left. I stilll wonder why that is.

I hope wherever he is that he is happy. That he is reading my bad poetry and love notes, and he is still writing. Maybe there are kids where he is, and he actually became a teacher. Above all, I hope he still loves me.

RIP Kuroko Tetsuya  
January 6 - November 17  
Beloved son and lover.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

I got inspiration from a tumblr post.


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